Spike and the sexy Slytherin
by Ella Dementia
Summary: A slightly amusing,story about Harry and Draco's pointless trip to America where Draco meets William the Bloody and Buffy,eventually becomeing torn between the two.who will he choose?and will hereturn to hogwarts with harry,or hang with the scoobies?


**Disclamer: **I obviously don't own Harry potter or Buffy the vampire slayer, because if I did I would be playing with Spike and Dracoin my bedroom making kinky sex videos, I wouldnt be writing pointless mank Fanfiction about them..Nuff said.

**A/N: **This is the first story I've ever put online, so excuse the akwardness of it all. I would apprecate it if someone would tell me what I should change, thanks :) ps. I can only update on the weekends for now. pps. if you dont like slash and dirty words, disperse from my story please, it will give you nightmares by the time I am finsished. xxx

**Warning: **Dirty words, Dirty people, slash and extremely crap writing.( for now XD) enjoy

**pairings:** (eventually) DracoxSpike DracoxBuffy DracoxDawn DracoxDraco Dracoxeveryone SpikexBuffy HarryxDraco Harryxrandom person? yay for whores

**Spike and The Slytherin**

_chapter 1_

_By - moi_

Ahhh another year at hogwarts.Another year of adventure,adrenaline,mystery,suspense,suprises, angst and romance. Or so they thought.

It was at that thingy, that thingy they have at the beginning of every school year. That thingy with the people, and that old guy that babbles on.No one really listens, or cares.Except for Harry of course.And although his words are poetic and witty,no one really bothered to listen to his words of wisdom.And then dumbledore finally said something interesting..

"Students, We have a surprise for you" he raised up his hands as if giving a gift, the gift of his supreme knowledge.The students kept talking amongst themselves." We have decided to.." more chatter. The only person looking his way was Potter, wide-eyed and ready for more. A loud " ahem " came from the some what disturbed old man.Chat Chat Chatter.Enough was enough, he stood up straight, waved his wand about and said some clever incantation and puff! Every student's mouth was sealed shut by an unknown sticky white fluid. Harry was left unharmed and smiling brightly, him and dumbledore exchanged playful winks.

"Now that I have your attention, I have a very important announcement to make. Four lucky students, one from each house, will be sent to america. These students were picked...completely at random, and we are deeply sorry if you we not chosen." he spoke slowly so the slower children, like all the weasley's, could comprehend. We can't leave the red headed and daff behind.

"And yes, it might seem like this is all just a pointless, half-baked, thoughtless excuse to get you to america to move on with the over all story, but as time goes on, you will see that this was a clever idea and will teach you a great lesson at the end, and you will be enlightened and forever my slave for showing you the error of your ways." Another glance at a confused Harry Potter. How could he, Harry Potter, most famous fictional character in all the world, have a single error in his pure scared body!

Students desperately trying to break free from the "magic glue" holding their flappers together were succeeding in tearing off skin and bleeding profusely from the mouth, Dumbledore realized it would be a good idea to get this over with.

"and now, the moment you have all been patiently waiting for, the students going to the americas will be...From the huffy puffy house..."

Students began to whisper as the spell turned to a salty liquid on their lips. Harry, giddy as ever, turned to Ron and said in a upbeat tone, " gee golly wizz Ron! I sure do hope I get it! ". Ron just looked at him, of course he would get it, hes licked to many assholes to get pushed into the crowd, he WAS the story.

Meanwhile, at the slytherin table, the sexy draco malfoy pulled the white hair band out of his pony tail, letting his straight blonde silky hair fall into his face and past his nose. You could just barely see a cold gray eye peaking out. He shook his head in slow motion, by now everyone had turned to look at him, except for dumbledore, who was announcing the names of the students no one really cares about. He ran his thin fingers through the strands, holding them back.The pale hottie licked the "special adhesive" from his lips, it was a familiar taste. He stopped to admire everyone that was drooling over the hotness that was the sex god of slytherin. Everyone wanted him, and almost everyone had him. He was the god of fuck at hogwarts and had had almost every person in his house in bed, him, her...didnt matter, as long as they had a mouth and somthing to penetrate. Now, of course, there were other sluts at the school, lets take Hermione for instants, shes done all but flash her pussy in the face of Ron, she desperately wanted him inside her, but no, it was Draco who seduced him into sucking him off in the broom closet late one night. Now poor Hermione was stuck screwing Crabbe and Goyle and some of the ugliest ravenclaws. It was Draco who banged like a barn door, no one could say no to him.

He sat there, clicking his teeth and tongue ring. He'd gotten a few piercings since the last time he was at hogwarts, including his eyebrow, four in each ear and his nipples. You could clearly see that last one threw his wife beater. He wore jeans too,baggy and tight at the top at the same time. When you have a mouth like a hover you don't need to abide by the rules.He finally spoke.

"Who would wanna go to America ayway? hanging around with a bunch of bloody idiots." he said, lighting a fag hanging out of his mouth, he didn't smoke, but you know, it looked cool.

"Yeah, absolutely, they are like the french, only stupidier, right draco?" purred, hoping to get noticed by the blonde bombshell.

"Definitely, those Americans are so shallow, total wankers.aint got none brains like us. Huh bestest buddy?" Crabbe charmed in, it was good to be friends with the schools best shag.

Draco Malfoy looked at both bleeding dimwits sitting across from him. He shook his head, hair fell in his face again." Take piss you mank mother fuckers" He gracefully rose from his seat and started for the door and with perfect timing, dumbledore's voice echoed threw out the hall...

"and from the slytherin house, Draco Malfoy..."

He turned swiftly, wallet chain and sliver bracelets making a rather loud noise. He smiled at dumbledore and whispered to himself. "Cheap american sluts, here I cum..hehe" and he sat back down, doing that sexy thing with his hair again.

Dumbledore had one more house left...

"...and last, but certainly not least, the moment we've all been waiting for, the student from the holy griffindor house to go to america will be...the boy who lived, the chosen one, the one, the only, HARRY JAMES POTTER!" he announced with delight.

Harry squealed in 'surprise'.In his own mind, everyone was smiling and yelling across the table, praising him, telling him how excited they were for him and his next adventure, Hermione was kissing him on the cheek and Ron was clapping..but in the sad reality there was silence, except for the banging of Ron's head against the table repeating "bloody hell" and Hermione was simply off in space, playing with her hair, faces were bored. Like no one saw this coming...

" After we eat, everyone will return to their proper rooms for the night, and in the morning, the select few will report to me...and now, our special guest speaker, JESUS HIMSELF"

chat. chat. chatter.

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